I currently do not have any children. But, because of the rapid changing times, I often tend to think about how exactly I would bring up the "birds and bees" (also known as the "Talk") to my future children. My nieces and nephews, including a few of my cousins open up to me frequently to discuss what they have learned from their peers at school about the opposite sex. I suppose they do this because they do not see me as the threat of being their parents. I am simply their aunt. The amount of knowledge that they've already acquired at such a young age surprises me (ages range from kindergarten through freshman in high school). Meanwhile, my siblings (their parents) have yet to have the "talk" with them because they figure they are still too young. I cannot fault them for this because our parents never actually had the talk with us. Clearly history is repeating itself in this aspect. After listening to my nieces and nephews, and asking a few questions of my own to evaluate the level of accuracy in the information they had acquired from their peers, I came up with a method I feel would be best to have the "talk".
First are foremost, be HONEST. Label everything with its proper name, no nicknames. Have them truly understand the proper names for the parts of their bodies. It's okay to giggle during this!There is no specific place to have this talk. This talk can take place anywhere as long as you have created an open environment where your child feels comfortable enough to ask questions. You can do so by asking them questions about what they already know. The environment will feel more like a comfortable conversation versus a painful lecture.
Also, no age is too young to have this discussion. A child's curiosity about their own body parts start way before they go to school to learn about them. When they start asking questions, answer them honestly and at that very moment because you are laying the foundation for future talks. You are also letting them know that it's okay to ask you questions pertaining to this matter. This will come in handy for future more in depth talks at a later age (such as pre-teen). The questions also become a bit more complex from a pre-teen. Some questions a parent should anticipate are: "Does sex hurt the first time?" or "What is the average penis size?" Explain how first time sex can be painful because upon entry, the penis can tear and/or stretch the hymen. Questions pertaining to their own personal parts may result from fear of not being "normal" because it does not look like everyone else. Explain how size and shape differ from person to person, and how they should become accustomed to their own "normal" so that health problems can be identified if it begins to look abnormal. Pamphlets with detailed drawings can be picked up from your local clinic, usually free of charge. Also, websites like avert.com can help better prepare the parent for this talk with their pre-teen. The talk does not have to be dreadful. It should be bonding and learning experience for both child and parent!
Cited
http://www.avert.org/teens-sex-questions.htm
